To Whom it May Concern,
Valerie San Filippo was absent on (insert date here) due to high levels of inhibitions and general fuck-giving. Though her condition is slowly stabilizing, there are some things you should know before she returns. Her condition is:
pre-existing,
chronic, and
may or may not be contagious.
She acquired her condition slightly after birth and it will likely plague her for the rest of her life, but there is no reason why she should not, with time, be entirely capable of reaching her full potential once again.
It remains a mystery why Valerie suddenly gave so make fucks. It is perhaps due to a sudden influx of Ohshiti Thoughtihadthisallplannedout, which, due to her auto-immune disease, IjusthavetopretendI’montopofeverything, could not be processed normally within her body. It likely did not help that she encountered a complication during treatment known as Welltheregoesmyhouse,fuckit, which is something few specialists are familiar with, and therefore it required extra patience.
Upon her return, you should note several changes:
She’s hyper aware of what a moron she was before. Try not to let her be too ashamed. It’s only natural.
She now experiences a kind of tunnel vision known as IfIwanttomakesomethingofmylifeI’vegottogetupanddoitmyself. While this is a good sign in patients such as Valerie, it is important that she is reminded of other less-strenuous visions, such as what is affectionately known as “Ferris Bueller Vision.”
She frequently experiences Lifepath Vertigo. Just give her a moment to steady herself, and she will realize that it’s not just a temporary phenomenon and she should get used to having no idea where she stands in life, ever.
She may never return fully to what she was before, but that’s okay, because what she was before wasn’t all that great anyway. If you have any questions… Well, hell, what makes you think I’m an authority on these matters? I just write the form letters.
Sincerely,
Valerie San Filippo
Reading about psychology is the worst. No matter how confident I am of my mental health before I begin reading, about halfway through (“Pedantic style of speaking, or inclusion of too much detail, check. Inability to recognize when the listener is interested or bored, check. Frequent tendency to say things without considering the emotional impact on the listener, ohmygod why is this happening?”) I’ve convinced myself that I’ve got Asperger’s.
ryancrobert:
I just learned how to do this last night and also I’m bad at calligraphy so it’s kind of messy butttttttttt…
Also it looks like the “H” is cheering for you.
THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER! Thank you Ryann!!
leonsbuddydave:
People passing out Bibles on campus today
Took one, acted all flustered that someone had recognized me, signed the inside cover and handed it back with a handshake and “Always nice to meet a fan”
Tom Waits (via milkfroth)
it’s as if someone really important told me “What you have to do is write songs from the point of view of literary characters who you never heard the point of view of.” and When I told them that I would be creating music that was to an oddly specific audience, they just told me to shut up and do it anyway.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is I just wrote a song as Phoebe, Holden Caulfield’s little sister, AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME.
I’ve stopped relating fully to my role models, and at first I was sad about that. But now I’ve realized that I’m thinking for myself, and I can lead myself, and I’ve become my own role model. I respect myself enough to place myself amongst those I respect and admire, and it’s a foreign and wonderful feeling.
I don’t know why I wanted to share that with you but I thought it was important to say that I think I’m good enough now, and I’m proud of myself. That’s all.
I don’t get why the most relatable thing is clubs and drinking. I don’t relate to any of that, and I don’t deserve feeling like I’m missing out on something.
I think it’s rather important to remember that he thought what he was doing during his reign was right, so why shouldn’t he act like a normal person when he was just a normal person? He wasn’t trying to be evil. He was just wrong. Just really, terribly wrong. That doesn’t mean everything he did was inherently wrong in turn. He was a normal (if aggressive and controlling) man. He’s not different from you. He was powerful and wrong, that’s it.
(Do scissors represent war? Like, swords and stuff?…. Sorry for intruding.)